Fading Dreams
by freakinfreezin
Summary: IK "It seemed like only a distant memory
1. Dark Dreams: inuyasha POV

He could feel it....... He was slowly sinking into darkness  
  
He was tired, so fucking tired  
  
If he could just let go and say goodbye to his pathetic life, it would be so easy, to just never wake up again Just leave behind all the pain, leave every person who had ever laughed, pointed, or cowered in fear at the sight of him How had this happened How had he gotten into this situation? He couldn't remember anything but the black Not when it was so cold When had it gotten so cold.........? Oh well, whatever, its better then the truth That was before the pain, it took all of his strength not to scream and scream until his screams and the silence blended too one sound in his ears But he couldn't......... If he screamed he would never get out of this................ Blackness? Or whatever it was... He had to fight it Through the pain and the cold he thought he remembered something A hope for a better tomorrow............... It seemed like only a distant memory Cascading black Hair, a soft smell, the gentle caress of some ones gray eyes, the same color as a stormy sky............. The pain increased He couldn't take it anymore He opened his mouth to scream............ He woke up, as he had every night that week, shivering and gasping for breath He wiped away the blood that dripped down his chin where he had bit through his lower lip, yet again, in his attempts not to scream He looked at his hands, where blood dripped sluggishly from 5 deep crescent shaped gashes His fingers were stiff from gripping the flesh of his hands in such tight fists If he could have seen himself through another's eyes, he would not have recognized himself Haunted violet eyes searched the ground as he rubbed his lips, tinged blue from a mix of the cold and the fact that sometime during his dream he had stopped breathing That couldn't have been a dream, it was so real, I felt like I was dieing all over again His eyes found it, the one useful invention from kagome's time besides insant ramen.  
  
The Exacto Knife  
  
He grabbed it and roughly pulled up his sleeve, searching his arm for any empty spot He cursed His skin, once pale and perfect, was covered almost completely with deep fresh cuts and black and blue bruises Damn! He'd have to start on his other arm He raggedly began cutting deep marks into his arm As the blood dripped down he began thinking of her, of his tainted life How much longer will I live Kagome? How long can I keep suffering before I cant take it anymore? He smiled wryly, How much longer until you realize that I am dieing? That you wont be able to save me a second time? I just cant win, My soul doesn't belong here anymore  
  
I want to scream  
  
For what...?  
  
I don't know  
  
Mercy  
  
Redemption A savior Those things didn't matter to me before, why now? I will never let myself scream, I cant leave you yet His labored breathing began to return to normal He growled sardonically, Nothing can save me now 


	2. fading light : kagomes POV

Believe me when I say this, I'm not stupid.  
  
I know something is wrong with inuyasha but he wont talk to me about it and if he doesn't I can't help him.  
  
I guess i'm being pretty blunt but i'm scared.  
  
This "problem" with him is not like anything else we've ever been through.  
  
You can't tell by looking at him how serious this is. Well, actually you can if you count the way his eyes are hazy and haunted, not the fierce strong gaze oh his eyes before that battle  
  
.His skin had always been pale, but pale is an understatement, his skin is WHITE like milk.  
  
He'd always been kinda reclusive about how he's feeling but now he wont ever talk unless you talk to him, we don't argue anymore at first we did a lot, after this happened I wanted to help him in any way possible, I guess then I didn't realize how serious this was.  
  
I mean this was inuyasha, the guy who wasn't fazed when he got punched through the stomach, he would be all right  
  
right?  
  
wrong.  
  
I should have realized something had gone terribly wrong when he came back to life as a human not the hanyou I had always known.  
  
I should have known when he stopped eating, when he stopped sleeping when he stopped calling me wench, asking for ramen.  
  
I mean yeah I thought it was weird when he turned down his ramen every once in a while but that was nothing right?  
  
And inuyasha didn't need much sleep anyway right?  
  
We went on as if everything was normal, but it wasn't  
  
Inuyasha wasn't okay, neither was I  
  
We had the shikon jewel but for some reason that wasn't what I wanted anymore  
  
I wanted inuyasha to be okay  
  
But even then I wasn't scared for his life  
  
I thought maybe he was upset about kikyo being gone or something that would pass, that night I found out just how serious this was  
  
I couldn't sleep and I wondered if inuyasha was sleeping so I wandered over to the god tree to talk with him, something we hadn't done in a long time  
  
He was asleep under the god tree, his black hair cascading around him, he was so beautiful I wanted to touch him  
  
Leaning down I pressed my hand against his cheek, it was kind of cold, and that's when I started to get worried  
  
I stared at his face as he bit his lip hard  
  
"inuyasha......?"  
  
I looked down at his hands gripped so tightly I thought his nails had to be digging into his skin.  
  
"inuyasha?" with more urgency this time, he was biting his lip so hard blood was beginning to drip down  
  
I was about to call for help when his grip suddenly went slack and he released his lip  
  
His lips began too turn blue and I knew he was dead  
  
No, I got frantic, he cant be dead I saved him I'll save him again  
  
Tears poured down my cheeks as I slapped his face over and over again  
  
"inuyasha I need you!!!" I cried out "Wake up"  
  
He shot up like a bat out of hell, rolled over, leaned away from me, and threw up nothing over and over again but nothing was coming out, he was just retching  
  
I was so shocked I couldn't move  
  
He just sat there catching his breathe, shivering  
  
"inuyasha......" I whimpered pathetically "you were.....you were dead"  
  
he looked at me right in the eye and hugged like his life depended on it, and I could feel him trembling  
  
"no more pain" he whimpered pathetically against me "please kagome no more pain"  
  
I melted and hugged him back  
  
we stayed like that the rest of the night 


End file.
